#Perched
Perched on the edge of the balcony, with charcoal smeared palms & a glass of expensive wine mixed with a lil bit of cheap local brandy...sunaina felt understood all of a sudden. Understood by nobody in particular and the universe in specific. Suddenly, all of a sudden after 23years of existing...she felt alive.
Littering the space behind her were filled-up canvas boards. She was by now used to calling her dabbles "expressions"...because she definitely could neither draw a straight line nor had an inkling of colour, mix or light! She just smeared raw passion on canvas and hoped people would see the passion and admire her.
Tonight though (at 2:18am) she didn't feel the need to be appreciated. For the first time she smeared something for herself...possibly it was too dark (almost belonged to the realm of dorian gray...oh! Well perhaps not...her secrets were also not that exotic) for it to be a pimping of her passion for appreciation!
But that helped! She finally felt she did something (even if by default) which was only for herself! She was her only audience and she was the snobbish critic, she was also the ticket seller to the show and she was the performer!
As she ushered herself in (craned her neck backwards to admire her work) the curtains went up and she applauded who she saw...herself...in those lil...meandering smears...
Something snapped! It was frightening...frightening to be that free, to feel so light...perched on the edge of the balcony she felt as if she had wings....
She knew she did...she just knew she would never be the same again! She knew she could fly...
The warmest of smiles purged her face of anxiety, as she hugged herself tight...totally in love with herself as she switched off the bedside lamp and snuggled into the comforter...waiting for the natural drug of sleep to kick off the mere conscious.
Oh! No she left the wine glass at the balcony and she knew the wind most probably would break it into multiple pieces by the morning...but then she told herself...people in love with themselves can forgive themselves a broken wine glass and a frowning cribbity maid!
So she said goodnight to herself as she snuck into herself and switched off the alarm!
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